When Things Get Hairy go Nuts!

I Saw a Werewolf drinking a Pina Colada at Trader Vic’s; his hair was perfect.” – Werewolves of London, Warren Zevon.


Coconut cream makes bar snobs bristle. It’s sticky, sweet, clings to your shaker and jigger. You have to rinse and dry your tools after using it because it will taint non coconut cream drinks. Despite all this I have a deep and abiding love for the stuff. I can and have eaten it with nothing but a spoon and a small sipper of demerera. It’s like a spoonful of dessert with the yummy bits that make us think of Coconut Cream pie. A sinful treat larger than life on the table and tempting us after a big barbecue lunch.

LoboColada (1)

Like coconut rum last week it’s not uncommon to see coconut cream behind a well stocked bar. Sadly it’s becoming less common being replaced with premixed Pina Colada garbage that’s better used to attract roaches than pour into a shaker. Despite the sneers some give it’s a useful ingredient. It’s in essence a premade syrup substitute with good flavor that adds both body and sweetness. You could make your own, but despite my DIY tendencies you won’t find me breaking my back over it. By all accounts it’s a long and irritating process that doesn’t yield product noticeably different from Coco Lopez.



The drink was inspired by my love of coffee in Tiki drinks primarily. From their it was a short trip to find rums that pair with it and coconut cream for sweetness and body. Scrappy’s Chocolate bitters are pretty damn key here surprisingly. I like their brand of bitters quite a lot but a single hearty dash of their chocolate bitters gives the whole thing harmony and structure. Two dashes if your curious brings ruin and dismay. Three dashes might just make you soil yourself so don’t try it.

LoboColada (5)

Lobo Colada

1 ½ oz Appleton V/X

¾ oz Myers Dark Jamaican Rum

1 oz dark coffee (Regular strength drip)

1 oz fresh lime juice

¾ oz Coco Lopez coconut cream

1 dash Scrappy’s Chocolate Bitters

Shake together with ice and pour unstrained into a chimney. Garnish with a ball of pineapple and a cherry as well as some bushy mint or a swizzle stick if desired.


A rich coffee aroma with hints of cream, bitter chocolate, and molasses hit the palate. The marriage of coffee and lime is a wonderful mix of tart and bitter softened by sweetened coconut which also aids in a rich body. Coffee, coconut, and lime play well throughout as the rums enter in the early middle providing a warming molasses flavor. This flavor flows with pleasing notes from the aromatic and exotic bitters. The rum funk is gentle, but it makes a tropical cacophony that somehow sounds alright on the tongue.

LoboColada (3)

We’ve covered the two most common coconut ingredients in the cocktail scene so far. For the rest of the month we’ll explore ways we’d like to see included in the pantheon of coconut mixology. Until next time…


“You get Hammered America” -JFL


About JFL

Joey or JFL as he is known by friends is a culinary trained mixologist from the Heart of Dixie Birmingham, Alabama. From a weekly column in the St. Clair News Aegis to his own experiments online JFL never stops doing work on Tiki and Cocktails. When he's not studying all things spirit, wine, and beer he's pursuing his own odd interests such as cartoons, cheesy old horror movies, horror punk, hair metal, and hockey
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7 Responses to When Things Get Hairy go Nuts!

  1. Joseph Tkach says:

    Instead of coco lopez, go to your local asian market (or even a trader joe’s) and buy “coconut cream”. It is exactly the same as coco lopez, except it is unsweetened. I like it because then I can control the level of sugar vs. coconut.

    • JFL says:

      Except that would defeat the entire purpose of using coconut cream in this and most if not all classic Tiki drinks. The entire purpose is to let the coconut cream substitute for some if not all the syrup in tiki drinks. Without Coco Lopez the drink would simply taste wrong.

      As I’ve said in this article and articles past Coco Lopez and other Coconut Creams serves as the required SWEET aspect to balance the sour and strong in many drinks. So we respectfully recommend not doing what you recommend for this and other classic Tiki drinks. I’m sure it’s a good ingredient but not a substitute at all for the purposes here.

  2. Ian “Rum Ambassador” Burrell recommends Coco Real, by the way. I don’t notice a difference between it and Coco Lopez, plus it seems to keep better (or at least has an easier to handle container). But if I were making a big batch of something, I’d still go for the Lopez and dump in the whole can. Looking forward to the future coconut posts. It’s way underrated as an ingredient.

    • JFL says:

      You know I used coco real and I never noticed much problem with it. I guess I just like having a few cans of lopez around. The next ones should be good we’re trying to cover coconut water, fresh coconut syrup, and coconut milk as well. Hopefully we’ll even get a machete and make a real coconut mug Mai Kai style.

  3. Jen says:

    This sounds fabulous. Might have to make one this weekend!

  4. Pingback: MxMo 88: Coconuts! | Rated R Cocktails

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